22 Phrases we have to endure in the toilet on a nightout



We have all been there! night out, nip to the loo and then you are confronted by the “Aftershave man” A.K.A the toilet attendant.

As you P**S away in to the urinal, all you hear is phrase after phrase, so here is a collection of them for you to endure.

Which is your favourite.


  1. No armani no punani
  2. No splash no gash
  3. No spray no lay
  4. Wash your nuts for the sluts
  5. Wash your fingers for the mingers
  6. No Davidoff no Suckin’off
  7. No After shave you go with dave
  8. No Cologne, you go home alone
  9. No CK, no BJ
  10. Wash ya toes, for da ho’s
  11. No Soap. No Hope
  12. No Stink, No Pink
  13. Armani for the Poonani
  14. Don’t you know freshen up, you got to freshen up
  15. No Water, no daughter
  16. No Splat, no Rat
  17. Tissue? No Issue
  18. Give me a pound, dont hang around
  19. Smell like a scummer? the nights a bummer
  20. Have your P**S, then try some of this
  21. Taking a poo. dont splash on your shoe
  22. Finished wiping your bum? It’s a pound for some gum.

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