23 Signs You Work In Sales
1. You turn everything into a competition.
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2. You’ve started to compare price tags to commission percentages.
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3. You greet everyone with a handshake.
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Even your best mate’s new fling.
4. You call the same companies so often, you can recite their answering machines.
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5. And you’ve also grown to like the music they play when you’re on hold.
6. You’ve trained yourself to scan everything for fine print.
7. And are on first name terms with every receptionist in the west end…
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8. You’ve forgotten what sleep is.
9. You’ve started to use sales jargon in all your personal calls.
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10. You like to banter with telesales callers, as you have common ground, but you still won’t buy from them.
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11. You don’t feel right in clothes that aren’t tailored…
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12. You find yourself bartering with everyone in the attempt for a deal.
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Bartenders, take-away owners, dry cleaners… no one is safe against your wrath.
13. You’ve forgotten what an actual lunch break is.
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And you’d much rather wallow in your own stress with a bottle of wine.
14. And you’re pretty sure your basic human rights are violated on a daily basis…
15. You’re scared to look at your phone on the weekends, as you might get sucked into your never-ending workload.
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Emails, email, and more emails.
16. On the weekdays you’re told it’s your cash register….
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17. You always change the subject when people ask you about your job.
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18. You have no time to spend your money on personal matters, so you waste it on stupid extravagances when intoxicated.
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19. Which means Fridays are a write-off.
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20. You often feel like you’re working to fund your boss’ BMW.
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21. You envy your friends who get to clock off at five.
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22. And you spend hours thinking of other ways you could be spending your time.
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23. But in your heart you know you could never quit, because sales is like a drug, and you love it.