30 Stages Girls Go Through Before A Night Out
1. The “What are you wearing?” panic text
Going out with the girls never comes without knowing what the others are wearing. Ever. Girls need to know what they’re up against. We’re all fighting to come out on top (whether you admit it or not).
2. The dress envy melt down
If her dress is way cuter we’re probably burning with jealousy and biting our tongues and applying more mascara to make up for it. But we’ll still say how much we love it. P.S. If she’s mean about it, she ain’t your real friend.
3. The outfit change
This is the part where we uproot EVERYTHING from our wardrobes. We need the perfect piece but finding it never comes easy.
4. Furious fake tanning
Short on time (because we forgot to shave) we strip off and grab a grimey mitt. The key here is to be quick and thorough.
5. Painting our faces
We heard guys like the natural look, but we’re so not OK with that. This part of the night takes TIME. Contouring, smokey eyes, trying out that new tutorial… putting our makeup on is a RITUAL that has to be respected.
6. Fighting with eyelash glue
Pain. In. The. Ass. No girl enjoys it, but if one of us is wearing false lashes, we’ll all be wearing them too.
7. The social media overhaul
It’s not everyday we look this cute! Besides, we need a way to tell the girls to hurry the hell up. Via snapchat obvs…
7. The pre-drinks drinks
Find a cup, mug or just drink from the bottle. Anything goes on a GNO.
8. A half assed attempt at drinking games
Nah gossiping is WAY too much fun.
9. Drinking like a boss
…which means doubling or tripling our pour. Wondering why we can’t handle our drink, boys? We’ve already won!
10. Sharing the love
Girls are hardwired to be emotional and affectionate so don’t be surprised when we say how much we love each other. Hugs too!
11. Reminiscing about that time that…
Whether it’s about a loser ex-boyfriend or looking back on another night out there’s always a funny story to tell on a girl’s night out.
12. The dancing begins…
With the music loud and drinks flowing one of the girls is guaranteed to get up and start dancing. (You can get away with a lot if you’re drunk.) This is the pre-club warm up. Our moves are gonna look HOT.
13. The NEED to take pictures
Girls love documenting their GNO preparation starting with hair and makeup selfies. Why? One because we look hot and two because (gone 1AM) the photos are hilarious.
14. Someone tries to round up the girls…
“We should go out soon.” YEAH… RIGHT…
15. One hour later…
…someone rings for a taxi and an announcement is made. Three girls, five girls, ten girls – the warning is vital.
16. The pre-taxi frenzy
There’s only ten minutes to do everything ALL over again. Touch-ups, accessorising, the overload of deodorant, the fragrance spritz and walk through routine, and the white patch on your back (that still needs to be filled it with instant tan). Make it happen girls.
17. You can’t find your shoes
Why now?! Try a group search. Works every time.
18. Fill up your bottles
At this point, we definitely don’t need anymore drink, but that still doesn’t stop us from getting someone to find an empty bottle and mixing a concoction of five different liquors. After all, everyone needs something for the taxi ride.
19. You forget something
Girls never forget their lipstick. But our ID, house keys and bankcard? Well, that’s another story…
20. If we remember as we’re getting into the taxi
…we’ll run back in as quick as possible, and there’s always time for one more cheeky shot.
21. Suck up to the taxi driver
We’ll apologise profusely and become best mates with the driver to avoid getting charged. Yup, one quid is A LOT.
22. Turn up
The first thing to ask the driver? Turn up the music please!
23. Pep talk
Girls always remind each other to act ‘sophisticated’ at the door. Now is not the time to be looking like a hot mess…
24. There’s a queue…
…and it’s too freaking cold so naturally we huddle. Beer coats are shite at times like these.
25. The bitching begins
By this time, shivering and desperate for a wee, we’ve turned into our very own version of Mean Girls. We all do it – it’s in our DNA.
26. The ID check
Pull a straight face? Smile to the bouncer? Whatever – just act sober!
27. Bag check
Our bags are wide open and ready to be checked. We got nothing to hide. Where did we put that bottle again?
28. The pre-entry plan
Girls always map out a plan before going into the club. (Even if it almost always goes to hell.)
Our bladders can only last so long. WHERE’S THE LADIES?
30. Everyone unites in the bathroom
Touch ups and more photos? Standard.
Keep your eyes peeled for part two…The Stages We Go Through During A Girl’s Night Out!